Ahh, love. Who doesn’t love love? So it’s no wonder people are always looking to learn to say I love you in different languages. But in Japanese, saying “I love you” is… a little complicated. Don’t worry, we’ll explain.
Something you learn quickly when you learn Japanese is that a lot of Japanese language is a little indirect, both out of politeness and just the structure of the language. People are more likely to respond ‘maybe’ or ‘a little bit’ when they mean ‘no’, and anata, the pronoun for ‘you’ is rarely used in regular speech (except romantically, which we’ll get to later).
So, as you might imagine, telling someone you love them (or anything!) directly can be jarring. It doesn’t really gel with the Japanese style. Instead, it’s more common to say ‘I like you’ or ‘I really like this’ where people from Western cultures might more casually toss around the word ‘love.’
Ready? Let’s dive in.
The short answer: I love you in Japanese
Ai – 愛
Meaning: love
Pronunciation: ah-ee (or “aye”, like a sea captain)
About: Does Japanese have a word for love? Yes. Love in Japanese is ai. The verb is aisuru (愛する), to love.
And to say I love you in Japanese, you would say aish*teru (愛してる).
Aish*teru is a gender-neutral term. So, to say I love you to a man, you’d say aish*teru yo, and to a woman, aish*teru wa. But – and this is a big but – it’s almost never used.
Seriously, don’t go tossing aisuru around in conversation. Aisuru is not for how you feel about a bowl of ramen, no matter how great that ramen is. It’s not the right word for asking someone to be your girlfriend. It’s a deep expression of emotion, usually reserved for the most romantic or heartfelt moments of a person’s life, and even then? It’s a lot. It’s for weddings, proposals, death beds, not as a thank you for doing the dishes.
Say this instead
Suki desu – 好きです
Meaning: I like (you)
Pronunciation: skee dehs
About: When learning Japanese, a lot of people ask, does suki mean like or love? Suki translates best to ‘like’, but it’s used in Japan to express that you’re romantically interested in someone. You can also use it to say that you like something, like food, a skirt, anything. Again, Japanese is highly contextual, so the object of your affection isn’t indicated in suki desu alone.
You can add specificity when not expressing your interest in someone by adding what you’re talking about – for example, ramen ga suki desu would be someone telling you that they like ramen, while staring deep into your eyes and saying suki desu… would probably not be about the ramen.
But if you’re looking to tell someone for the first time “I love you” in Japanese, suki desu is a good place to start.
Daisuki desu – 大好きです
Meaning: I really like (you)
Pronunciation: dah-ee-skee dehs
About: If you want to level up your expressions of affection, adding dai, which means ‘big’, at the beginning to make daisuki desu is a great way of telling someone you love them. Or telling your ramen that you really, really like it.
The full sentence, for someone you’re romantically involved with, would be anata ga daisuki desu, but again, even using anata is a little intimate. So, not for telling your Airbnb host family that you think they’re grand.
