So you’re chatting with a dry texter. And it’s hard to make your conversation fun and interesting.
Or it’s you who is dry texting and you have no clue how to turn things around.
In this article I’ll teach you everything there is to know about dry texting.
Does it mean the other person’s not into you? How do you spice things up? How to prevent dry texting in the future? We’ll cover it all.
In this article:
- What is dry texting: 10 Examples
- Why does someone dry text?
- How do you know if he/she is uninterested or just a dry texter?
- 6 Ways to stop getting dry texts
- 6 Tips to stop being a dry texter yourself
- Someone you’re dating starts to dry text, what now?
- How to deal with dry texts in a relationship
More...
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What is dry texting: 10 Examples
So what is dry texting exactly? Why do you only get dry responses?
Well, it’s when you try to make a conversation interesting and fun, but all you get in return two days later is:
Haha lol
Or even worse:
k
The definition of dry texting is when someone is responding with short, boring, and meaningless texts. They’re barely investing into the conversation.
Here are 10 quick examples of dry texts.
- haha
- lmao
- lol
- sure
- yes/ya/yep/yeah/yea
- no/nah/nope
- mmhm
- okay/kay/k
- you?/u?
- thanks/thx
And to be clear, dry texting doesn’t have to be just one short answer.
It could also be a couple of short answers sent in a row.
It’s basically anything that shows little investment that gives you little to work with.
There’s multiple reasons for this behavior. We’ll get into that soon! But first:
I know dry texts infuriate some of you because hundreds of men in my inbox keep reminding me.
How the hell do you respond to ‘Okay’ or ‘haha’? Come on! And to be fair, it is annoying. But you might be responsible, and luckily, there are ways to fix this!
Why does someone dry text?
There are LOTS of reasons why someone dry-texts.
And one of them could be you. But it doesn’t have to be your fault.
Let’s look at what can motivate someone to send dry texts.
- They’re busy. They see your text notification and answer you with what little time they have available
- They’re tired and not motivated to give you a good/fun answer
- They’re not in a good mood (perhaps even ill)
And lastly…
It could be something you did. Which didn’t have to be a bad thing necessarily.
Maybe your last few texts were difficult to reply to. A mistake that’s easily made and easily overcome.
A blunder that’s not as easy to overcome is this: you sent boring or insensitive texts and have lost her interest.
The only reason she’s replying now is because she’s too polite to reject you.
So she’s sending you dry texts in hopes that you get the hint.
The trouble is, how do you know you blew it or if she’s busy? Let’s discuss that in the next tip.
How do you know if he/she is uninterested or just a dry texter?
With emotions running high, I’ll cut right to the chase.
How do you know if you messed up and ruined your chances?
Simple. Look at the texting patterns and signals of interest.
Are the dry texts reasonably rare or the standard way of communicating?
If the other person sends you dry texts occasionally, you’re probably good. Those dry texts were probably a result of being busy.
Has your love interest only been sending you dry texts for the past few days? Then she’s probably lost interest because of something you did or said.
Although she may still be interested. The BEST way to know if she’s still interested in you is if she’s looking forward to seeing you.
For instance, if you’ve already made plans to see her and the date is 4+ days away, it’s quite natural for the conversation to slow down.
After all, texting is mainly for making plans to meet up. Not just chit-chat.
Long story short:
If she’s not giving you any clear signals of interest, she’s likely dry-texting you because she’s too polite to reject you.
And she’s hoping you can read between the lines and leave her alone.
Do you have trouble recognizing if someone likes you over text? Then check out my article which will show you exactly what to look for:
- 19 Signs that tell if someone likes you over text
Next up, tips on how to STOP getting dry texts from people you just met, people you’re dating, or your partner.
6 Ways to stop getting dry texts
You’re about to see a conversation a female friend of mine had that perfectly showcases dry texting.
She just matched a guy on Tinder who was less than amazing. So she showed her disinterest by sending dry texts. Have a look for yourself.
I know I said that dry texting was infuriating and bad. But there are always two sides to a story. And in this case, I think the dry texts were more than deserved.
As you can hopefully tell from the above screenshot, our guy in grey was not doing a great job of being flirty or fun. Right off the bat, the guy sets himself up for failure.
Besides giving my friend a terrible dilemma to choose from, he makes it incredibly easy for her to answer with a dry text. So she does.
How does he try to fix it? By asking her a Yes/No question! So she replies with another dry text. Then he follows it up with another Yes/No question so she again responds with a dry text! You get the idea.
So how do you turn around a conversation that turned dry?
Here are some great ways:
1. Ask open-ended questions
Our friends from the screenshot above only asked closed yes/no questions. Which is basically asking for a dry response.
So it’s better to askopen-ended questions.
Questions you can’t usually answer in just a few simple words. Those invite the other person to invest more.
Whenever you ask a question, make sure it’s an open ended question that can only be answered by a string of words. If you keep your questions open, the odds of getting a dry text are very small.
Here are some articles with open ended questions girls love to answer:
- 100+ Tinder questions that actually work
- 70+ Questions to ask your crush over text
2. Don’t invest too much
For someone to get interested and attracted to you, they have to feel that they haven’t won you over already.
They want to have the feeling you’re acatch and they have to work to get your attention and approval.
So, if you’re trying too hard and investing too much, you automatically become less interesting. They already got you.
Ideally, you also text approximately as much as the other. However, right now the other doesn’t invest much at all.
So the least you can do is be a bit tougher on her. Don’t be the happy kid who laughs about everything and agrees with everything. Push back a little.
3. Flirt and tease
One very important way to become more attractive is by playfully teasing the other person. Stop having boring conversations by flirting and teasing a bit.
Accuse her of something funny, tell her she’s hitting on you, or whatever other fun crosses your mind.
Check out this article for more tips on how to flirt over text:
- 12 Tips and Examples: How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text
4. Send a photo that triggers emotion
Photos are visual. And that’s why they usually trigger way more than just plain texts. Send something fun you’re doing or something you did together that triggers a memory.
Chances are she’ll get more engaged.
5. Call her out on her dry texting
One thing that can work and shows some balls is calling her out on dry texting. Always do it playfully though. If you sound butthurt, you’ll never get another date.
I love talking to you so much. Your texts are so much fun! You say so much in so few words.
Be careful though. It could come across as quite passive-aggressive. And you might get a bad response.
But let’s be honest. Do you want to keep talking to someone who never wants to invest?
If she is actually still interested, she would either apologize or respond in a funny more engaged way because she feels guilty.
6. Call him/her
Another bold move. Some might find this scary. However, especially if you’ve already met, it’s not weird at all.
It’s the perfect way to figure out if the other is still interested. And because she can hear your voice, it’s way easier to make an impression while playing with your tonality and volume.
6 Tips to stop being a dry texter yourself
What if you’re the dry texter? What if every conversation becomes dry and you have no clue how to change things up?
Here are some tips to stop being a dry texter and become more attractive over text:
1. Change your texting from informational to emotional
This might be the most important lesson you ever learn about texting.
Attraction and fun conversations are not the result of exchanging facts and information like your job, where you live, and what you enjoy doing.
It’s the result of creating emotions. Having fun. Teasing. And that has little to do with getting to know each other factually.
You do get to know each other, but on a whole different level.
2. Don’t just answer questions, but tell stories
Just answering questions, whether it’s a yes/no question or an open question, doesn’t lead anywhere. And asking a question in return is also not the answer.
What does work is spontaneously elaborating on stuff. Telling fun stories. It doesn’t have to be logical, it could just be something that follows whatever she says or your answer.
Also, you can start telling something cool out of the blue. It’s not weird if it’s fun. Tell her something fun you once did. Tell her something awkward that happened. Tell her something ridiculous that makes you laugh.
If it’s fun, she’ll like it.
3. Show sincere interest
If she tells you stuff, don’t just leave it at that. Be truly interested. Ask for more. Ask how she experienced things or how something is for her.
Even just being sincerely interested and asking deeper questions can create captivating conversations.
4. Flirt and tease
This is the missing ingredient in most boring conversations. If you want to create attraction and have fun, then don’t search for connection all the time.
Actually tease her for something she said. Make big fun claims about her. Tell her she reminds you of the little mermaid. Accuse her of just trying to get into your boxershorts.
Here’s an article to help you out:
- How to tease a girl over text (+10 examples)
5. Be radically authentic
At TextGod, Radical Authenticity is one of our core values. What I mean by that is this:
Most people try so hard to please the other person through text, or do the right thing and not offend anyone, that their texts become very plain and boring.
What if you were 100% yourself and didn’t care for her approval? I’m sure you would text completely different.
You would be way more direct and honest. You would sometimes disagree and other times play with her, like you do with good friends.
Andthat behavior is far from dry and boring.
6. Use emojis and gifs
An easy way to enhance the experience of texting with you is by… well… quite literally enhancing the experience visually.
Gifs are a great way of being fun and playing around with her. Find gifs that express your emotion in a fun way or that tease her.
Emojis add emotion to what you say, which is better than dry texts.
However, be careful with emojis. They also show more investment. So don’t overdo them.
To get WAY better convos and get women attracted to you over text, check out this 5-minute video of mine.
I guarantee you’ll get much better conversations, with lots more flirting:
Someone you’re dating starts to dry text, what now?
Getting dry texts in the dating phase can be really confusing.
Suppose you’ve been seeing a girl for a few weeks. Every time you hang out in person things feel fantastic. There’s a lot of physical attraction and the chemistry is good.
But there’s just one problem. Your text conversation has died and you feel like you can’t hold her attention.
This feels incredibly strange because when you first started dating you texted back and forth all day. And now you barely get more than a couple of texts a day. What’s going on?
I get asked about similar experiences from clients and people in the TextGod Mentoring Program on the regular and the answer is simple.
If you feel fireworks every time you’re with her, there is no problem. Maybe she’s just not the type that enjoys texting. Especially if she already sees you once every few days.
So it could be that she just has nothing to say. Or that she prefers to say it in real life.
Here’s what I recommend you do: stop trying to nurture your relationship via text. That’s what dates are for.
Mainly use texting to set up dates or to check in on her during special occasions. Like if she has a job interview or presentation at work.
Can’t shake the feeling that she’s losing interest in you because of the dry texts? Ask her (in person) how she feels about texting and remove all your doubts.
How to deal with dry texts in a relationship
We’ve all been there and got this dreaded text.
k
This lonely uncapitalized letter says more than an entire paragraph. Which is code for: I’m. Mad. At. You. At least, that’s what we think when we read it.
Of course, it’s incredibly difficult to know what a text exactly means without seeing the person’s face before they send it.
A text has no tone of voice so a lot of important signals get lost.
So what do you do? Firstly, you don’t assume ANYTHING. You have NO idea what’s going on.
Sure, you may have done something wrong. But maybe your girlfriend is going through some difficult stuff right now and isn’t in the mood to text.
The best indicator if she’s mad at you is her real-life behavior.
Is everything in real life hunky-dory? Then there’s probably nothing to worry about. She probably sent you a few dry texts because she’s busy but still wanted to be polite and answer you back quickly.
Can’t shake the feeling something is wrong? Talk to her about it in person.
If you’re getting along great whenever you’re together, then she’ll likely have no problem telling you why she sent you a few dry texts.
And one last gift before we wrap up today’s article on dry texting:
The 10 Texts That Always Work.
Whether you want better reactions or a non-needy way to ask her out, the free 10 Texts have exactly what you need.
Enjoy.
Blessings,
Louis Farfields
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