Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It) - Her Norm (2023)

Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It) - Her Norm (1)

Last updated on June 12, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz.

Dating can be such a turbulent experience for many. What can make matters worse, is if we are very insecure about ourselves or if we are dating someone who we think is way out of our league.

Being out of your league can mean having a higher social status or, simply, your belief that they are better than you in some way. Those ways can be looks, financial standing, or a better career trajectory.


  • 1 9 Ways To Deal With A Relationship Imbalance
  • 2 How To Date A Person Out Of Your League?
    • 2.1 1. Work On Your Low Self-Esteem
    • 2.2 2. Focus On Their Flaws
    • 2.3 3. Realize They Are Human
    • 2.4 4. Remember They Are Into You
    • 2.5 5. Concentrate On Why You Work
    • 2.6 6. Give Them Lots Of Attention
    • 2.7 7. Don’t Listen To Others’ Judgment
    • 2.8 8. Remember What You Have To Offer
    • 2.9 9. Communicate Any Problems
  • 3 FAQs
  • 4 Dating A Person Out Of Your League - Summary

9 Ways To Deal With A Relationship Imbalance

Here, we look at ways to date someone out of your league that you either believe wouldn’t look your way, or when in a relationship, means you are constantly grappling with self-doubt. You may feel that they are always looking for someone else that you would have thought was better than you.

Our suggestions, however, help you get over that so that you are in relationships with people that you may have previously thought are leagues above you.

Ultimately, you must remember that thinking that way about relationships and others being leagues ahead of you in some way, is just all in your mind. No one dates another person thinking ‘they’re beneath me’ - and, if they do, they’re not worth dating in the first place.

How To Date A Person Out Of Your League?

1. Work On Your Low Self-Esteem

One of the reasons that you believe, and probably have believed for a long time now, that you are dating someone leagues ahead of you is down to your self-esteem. The likelihood is that you have a low opinion of yourself and it will help your relationship with each other if you start to build up your confidence.

Believing in yourself and your good qualities will help this no end and make you feel like you have better self-worth than previously. If people give you a compliment, believe them. Do not dismiss it. You are a better person than you think you are and believing that will help your relationships infinitely.

2. Focus On Their Flaws

Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It) - Her Norm (2)

It can be helpful, when we are in awe of a person we want to date or are dating, to remember their flaws. Everyone has them so try to zone in on them at times you are having a big wave of self-doubt as to why a person would want to date you who is leagues ahead of you in every way.

Remember that there will be many areas that you are actually better than your potential love interest and this is key to remember if you want your relationship to be a success. Without realizing this, you will have a relationship full of imbalance which can cause big issues in the future.

3. Realize They Are Human

Dating someone out of your league can be an intimidating prospect, however, it can be helpful to remember that that person is human. They most likely won’t think that they are as great as you think they are as people rarely have that amount of self-confidence or self-belief.

They too will be looking out for other people to be in a happy partnership with and will be all too aware of their own insecurities that they may find it difficult to believe that you want to be with them.

(Video) When A Guy Thinks You're Out Of His League: What It Means And What To Do

4. Remember They Are Into You

It is essential to acknowledge the fact that people will only date you if they are into you. It can be so easy sometimes to convince ourselves, particularly when we have low self-confidence, that our partners are with us out of pity.

That simply isn’t the case. If you are with someone that you believe to be leagues above you, the likelihood is, that they could date other people. However, they’re not, they have made the active decision to be with you.

5. Concentrate On Why You Work

Another way that you can give yourself the belief necessary for a happy relationship is to focus on why you work as a couple. It is a very natural reaction for many of us to focus on why we don’t work and that it can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy that we break up. Break that cycle and zone in why you have such a great dynamic.

6. Give Them Lots Of Attention

Just because you think you are dating someone who is better than you, doesn’t mean that they need less love and attention than anyone else. Bearing that in mind, shower them with affection and your true feelings towards them so they too can have confidence in the future of your partnership and it really works.

7. Don’t Listen To Others’ Judgment

It could well be that one of you is much better looking than the other or one of you has a much better job. This will often attract the judgment of other individuals even though it has nothing to do with them and is none of their business.

Try not to listen to that judgment, therefore. It can be easy to buy into it and believe it, without remembering all the good that there is between you and your partner.

8. Remember What You Have To Offer

Just because there may be an imbalance elsewhere in your relationship, one way that you can date someone out of your league successfully, is to remember what you have to offer and why that is so great for your partner. This can help enormously with your self-belief and confidence.

9. Communicate Any Problems

Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It) - Her Norm (3)

Any partnership will do well if the two individuals in it can communicate properly. However, this is a particular key in situations where one person is incredibly insecure. Therefore, when you come across an issue with your partner, remember to address it head-on. In that manner, you can support each other and work through problems as and when they occur.


Can you date someone out of your league?

You can absolutely date someone out of your league as long as you realize that you need to have confidence in why they are with you. There will always be things that you are better at than them, and you need to remember them as well as know that they are with you because you are good enough for them.

What does it mean when someone says your way out of my league?

Many will say that another person is way out of their league when they believe that their potential love interest is better than them in various ways. Those ways can include looks, confidence, money, career trajectory - amongst many other things.

How do I stop liking someone out of my league?

It can be hard to stop liking someone that you believe is out of your league. However, it can be beneficial to concentrate on their flaws and realize why you may not be a very good match in the long term. Looking at those issues can help you come to terms with why the relationship would not work.

(Video) She's Out of my League: She's not wearing underwear (HD CLIP)

Can a guy be out of your league?

A guy can be out of your league if you let him be so. If you put him high on a pedestal, and make him out to be almost superhuman at times, you will find that he is always out of your league and unattainable. Everyone has their faults, even the guy you are crushing on.

Can a girl be out of your league?

A girl can be out of your league if you believe them to be better than you in terms of looks or any other issue you put heavy importance on. However, everyone has their flaws, so it can be a good idea to focus on them and remember them so you realize that the girl of your dreams is not perfect.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Dating A Person Out Of Your League - Summary

Perhaps the ultimate thing to remember if you think you are dating a person out of your league is to improve the confidence you have in yourself. If you don’t, you either won’t stand a chance with that person in the first place or, if you are in a partnership with them already, your insecurities can be too big for the partnership to survive.

Work on your own self-confidence therefore and you should find that you are able to cope with any self-doubt in the future.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

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Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It) - Her Norm (4)

Sonya Schwartz

A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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Can a guy date a girl out of his league? ›

Men can get women considered “out of their league,” become partners or even get married. Most men have spent time thinking about their dream girl, the girl they couldn't ever seem to get close to. If you're wondering whether it's possible to date her, it could be. She doesn't have to be the one that got away!

How do you win over a girl in your league? ›

10 Ways To Get The Girl Who Is Out Of Your League
  1. Pure Intentions, Nothing Else! ...
  2. Don't Try To Be A Gentleman, Be A Gentleman. ...
  3. Support Her And Be Around For Her. ...
  4. No Arrogance. ...
  5. Bring Forth Your Virtues. ...
  6. Find Common Interests And Share Your Stories. ...
  7. Don't Make Promises Which You Can't Keep. ...
  8. Brains Over Beauty.
15 Feb 2017

How do you show a girl you're serious about her? ›

  1. Talk respectfully. Don't make her feel like she is less important.
  2. Listen to her. Not just to the words she's saying but to the feeling she tries to express.
  3. Compliment her. ...
  4. Try to show interest in things she enjoys. ...
  5. Consider her opinion before making a decision. ...
  6. Be forgiving. ...
  7. Plan a small trip. ...
  8. Set goals together.

How to make a girl fall for you? ›

How To Make a Girl Fall For You: 20 Simple Strategies
  1. Work on yourself & have your own life. ...
  2. Be optimistic. ...
  3. Keep the conversation going. ...
  4. Respect her as an equal. ...
  5. Be her friend and make it fun. ...
  6. Take it slow – things will fall in place. ...
  7. Be chivalrous. ...
  8. Give her all your attention.
23 Apr 2018

How do you let go of a player? ›

Here are the 7 steps to quickly get over a player:
  1. Step #1: Understand that you're addicted.
  2. Step #2: Make sure you have a support group.
  3. Step #3: Break all contact with him.
  4. Step #4: Remove everything that reminds you of him.
  5. Step #5: Don't give in to your rationalizations.
  6. Step #6: Date other men.
18 Jun 2020

What to do when your partner is out of your league? ›

Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It)
  1. 2.1 1. Work On Your Low Self-Esteem.
  2. 2.2 2. Focus On Their Flaws.
  3. 2.3 3. Realize They Are Human.
  4. 2.4 4. Remember They Are Into You.
  5. 2.5 5. Concentrate On Why You Work.
  6. 2.6 6. Give Them Lots Of Attention.
  7. 2.7 7. Don't Listen To Others' Judgment.
  8. 2.8 8.
12 Jun 2022

How do you match with someone on the league? ›

If you give each other your Hearts, it's a Match! From there, you can chat on the app for 21 days or until romance blossoms and you share your offline details. Using League Tickets, you can make Power Moves, see more potential matches, and give your own profile a boost!

What makes someone out of your league? ›

In the phrase we so often use, they were “out of my league.” When we say “out of someone's league,” often we're talking simply about attractiveness, but sometimes it's a combination of attractiveness, wealth, social status, and other skills or assets.

How do you score a guy out of your league? ›

10 Secrets To Get The Guy You THINK Is Out Of Your League
  1. Tune into that little voice inside your head.
  2. Remember that this is not a competition.
  3. Get to know him.
  4. Fall in love with yourself.
  5. Have a life of your own.
  6. Beware of tunnel vision.
  7. Be prepared to cut your losses.
  8. Keep your sense of humor.
17 Apr 2017

Do guys like girls who are out of their league? ›

You're sure to see it: men who are so-so on the attractive scale hitting on women who are, at least in the looks department, way out of their league. A new study says men really do go after women who are better looking than themselves (women, on the other hand, tend to keep a level field when pursuing men).

How do you make her want to date you? ›

If that's what you're after, follow this guide: here are the surefire ways to make her want you:
  1. Don't be desperate. ...
  2. Keep the mystery. ...
  3. Remember – she's listening. ...
  4. Funny guys finish first. ...
  5. Flirt with her – but not too much.

How do you hit a girl confidently? ›

Even just smiling, making eye contact, and saying "Hi" to a girl you want to talk to can give her the impression that you're confident. Don't be afraid to use your shyness to your advantage. Since many girls are attracted to shy guys, use the fact you're shy as a way to introduce yourself.

What makes a girl out of a guy's league? ›

A girl or woman being "out of your league" means different things to different people. Conventionally, this phrase primarily refers to looks and whether or not the woman you're interested in outranks you. However, most women won't completely discount you just based on how you look.

How do you keep a girl madly in love with you? ›

These techniques and tips will work for all types of relationships and will certainly help her fall in love with you all over again.
  1. Listen to Her. ...
  2. Compliment Her Looks. ...
  3. Do Not Shy Away from Chivalry. ...
  4. Support Her Decisions. ...
  5. Tell Her How Much You Love Her. ...
  6. Give Her Attention. ...
  7. Nourish the Love between You. ...
  8. Looking Good.
7 Feb 2022

How do you judge if a girl likes you? ›

Signs a Girl Likes You
  1. Her friends and family know about you. ...
  2. She reschedules a date she can't make. ...
  3. She makes an effort to continue the conversation. ...
  4. She compliments you and tries to make you feel good. ...
  5. She's clearly nervous around you. ...
  6. Her body language is inviting. ...
  7. She remembers things you tell her.
29 Sept 2020

What are the three words to impress a girl? ›

18 Ways To Keep Your Girlfriend Happy With 3 Little Words
  • I love you. In this generation, hearing those words is everything. ...
  • You're the one. This one is a no-brainer right here. ...
  • Just kiss me! ...
  • Unlimited hot pizza... ...
  • You're the G.O.A.T. ...
  • I miss you. ...
  • Pack your bags! ...
  • Good morning, beautiful.
30 Jun 2015

What makes a girl fall in love with a guy? ›

They desire a sincere, family-oriented, honest, trustworthy, and respectful man. A woman often looks for a man who will treat her with love, care, and respect without drama. Hence, if you want your crush to fall in love, show your best personality to her.

How can you tell if someone is using you? ›

Signs You're Being Used
  • The person asks you for money, favors, or other items. ...
  • The person imposes on you without consideration for your availability or preferences. ...
  • The person expects you to take care of their needs. ...
  • The person appears disinterested in you after their needs have been met.
9 Nov 2021

How do I spot a player? ›

Players are typically only looking for a good time and not genuine connection. If you notice they're giving lots of compliments or getting physically close, but they're not asking you questions about yourself or engaging in conversation, you might be dealing with a player.

How do I know if I'm being played? ›

8 Signs You Are Being Played
  • Nothing ever moves forward.
  • You never get to decide. Anything.
  • They're always making you feel guilty.
  • They take jabs at your insecurities.
  • Double standards.
  • Their level of closeness is always wavering.
  • They never make real commitments.
  • They only do nice things to get what they want.
14 Jul 2014

Is it normal to run out of things to say to your partner? ›

Even the closest romantic partners can occasionally run out things to talk about with each other. Although you might think this means that your relationship has run its course, it's natural to feel a little stuck in the chatting department from time to time.

How do you trust your partner when they go out? ›

Contents show
  1. Let him go out with his friends.
  2. Don't keep on calling him when he's out.
  3. Don't spy on your boyfriend.
  4. Don't be too inquisitive.
  5. Don't invade his privacy.
  6. Talk to him if you have concerns.
  7. Stay calm and rational.
  8. Believe in what he says.
7 May 2022

Who sends first message on the league? ›

According to the app, the person who gets the Home 1 notification should send premier first message. You can swipe 1 or right, and if the interest is mutual the messaging biggies opens. The League also has a video chat feature. Matches will also premier if the conversation stalls for nanny than 14 days.

How does a LOL match work? ›

The Matchmaking System works along with a modified version of the Elo system. The basic gist of the Elo system is that it uses math to compare two player ratings to guess the game result – like, "Player A will win vs Player B 75% of the time". From there, the game is played. If a player wins, the player gain points.

How do you tell if he is out of my league? ›

He could be out of your league for physical reasons, like being too good looking. If you're a 4, you shouldn't expect to date an 8.
15 Signs He's Out Of Your League
  1. 1 LOL, JK.
  2. 2 He's Really Funny. ...
  3. 3 He Goes Out Every Night. ...
  4. 4 He Has Rendez-Vous Everywhere. ...
  5. 5 He Has Cool Friends. ...
  6. 6 He's Much Smarter Than You. ...
16 Aug 2016

Is being out of someone's league a real thing? ›

Is anyone truly "out of your league"? No. There are no leagues. There are certainly people who won't date you, and in some cases, that might be because they don't think you're attractive enough for them.

How to pull a hot guy? ›

Here are some tips and tricks from relationship and matchmaking experts that can help you get a man to focus his attention on you.
  1. Smile. TODAY. ...
  2. Don't hide in the corner. ...
  3. Ask for his help. ...
  4. Talk about your hobbies. ...
  5. Don't dress for your girlfriends. ...
  6. Look him in the eye. ...
  7. Avoid the obvious. ...
  8. Go out alone or with one other friend.
20 Jul 2016

How do you make a player chase you? ›

How to make a man chase you – 20 powerful but subtle ways that really work
  1. You're busy. ...
  2. Let him think he's in charge. ...
  3. Show confidence. ...
  4. Don't let him think he's the only one. ...
  5. You don't have to give him everything right away. ...
  6. Show that you have a life. ...
  7. Have some mystery. ...
  8. Flirt.

How do you get a guy to lead? ›

For those ladies who prefer for the man to take the lead, here are five tips for guiding things along.
  1. Respond to him. Whether it's a first meeting or a second date, communicate your interest in him through your actions. ...
  2. Don't reserve Saturday night. ...
  3. Offer affirmation. ...
  4. Hold him accountable.
  5. Let him know you respect him.
12 May 2015

Why do guys think I'm too good for them? ›

When a guy tells you that you are too good for him, it's because he's not ready to fix the parts of himself that he feels he would have to fix to keep or even deserve you.

When a guy cares about your well being? ›

When a guy cares about you, he will try to make you feel nice. One of the ways to do so is to offer you compliments and try to bring a smile to your face. He will always find a reason to say something good about you. It can be anything – right from the way you laugh to the dress you are wearing.

Do guys like girls that are outgoing? ›

The truth is that it comes down to what that particular individual is looking for in a potential partner. Some men may find shy girls to be irresistibly cute, while others may prefer getting to know an outgoing individual as it may come easier to them. However, everyone is different.

How do I make her feel love? ›

25 Easy Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Special And Loved
  1. Compliment Her Often. Compliments are a great way to make your girl feel special. ...
  2. Plan Little Surprises. Save. ...
  3. Offer Her A Massage. ...
  4. Kiss Her Forehead. ...
  5. Leave Her Surprise Notes Or Messages. ...
  6. Be Respectful To Her. ...
  7. Be Faithful To Her. ...
  8. Make Time for Her.

What to say to make her want you? ›

120 Sweet Things to Say to a Girl
  • I can't stop thinking about you.
  • How are you today?
  • Your smile is on my mind.
  • I really enjoyed the time we spent together today.
  • Being with you makes me incredibly happy.
  • You make me feel like a million bucks.
  • I have been so much happier since we started spending time together.
13 Apr 2018

How do you make a girl feel fine? ›

100 Unique Ways to Make a Girl Feel Special
  1. Don't just tell her she's beautiful; make her feel beautiful! ...
  2. Randomly leave notes with sweet messages. ...
  3. Light a few candles and cook for her. ...
  4. Be honest with her. ...
  5. Compliment her in an honest and unique manner. ...
  6. Listen to her, care about her well-being.
3 Feb 2020

What makes a girl a player? ›

A female player will involve herself with a partner based entirely on self-interest. She will derive some sort of benefit from the guy and when he is no longer useful to her she will cast him aside and move on. Yes, just like throwing away a can of soda when you finish drinking it.

What to do when your crush is out of your league? ›

What to do when you think your crush is too good for you
  1. Realize he's *not* out of your league. ...
  2. Strengthen your self-confidence. ...
  3. Stop comparing yourself to others. ...
  4. Start introducing him to the *real* you. ...
  5. Ever crushed on a cutie who seemed out of your league?

Do guys like girls out of their league? ›

You're sure to see it: men who are so-so on the attractive scale hitting on women who are, at least in the looks department, way out of their league. A new study says men really do go after women who are better looking than themselves (women, on the other hand, tend to keep a level field when pursuing men).

When should you give up on a crush? ›

7 Signs It's Time To Get Over Your Crush — And Exactly How To Do That
  • They Talk About Dating Other People. ...
  • They Never Initiate Contact. ...
  • They Back Out Of Plans A Lot. ...
  • You're Confused Over What They Want With You. ...
  • Your Friends Are Telling You To Explore Your Options.
26 Sept 2019

What should I not do around my crush? ›

7 Things NOT To Do Around Your Crush
  • Come on too strong.
  • Fantasize about your future together.
  • Send mixed signals.
  • Act like you don't care.
  • Pretend to be someone you're not.
  • Act jealous or possessive.
  • Overthink everything.
17 Aug 2021

What things of girl attracts guys most? ›

Nothing attracts more to a man than a woman with a high self-esteem. A confident woman is independent and can tackle any situation in her life. Even in the long run, the guy can depend on his partner and feel secured.


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